Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

While emptying a house, have you ever seen something in it that blew your mind?

I was tired of fighting.

And the sadness?

Be who you already are.

How can I be okay with being ugly? What is the bright side?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

It’s here now, writing to you.

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But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Do you think that drug addiction is a symptom of larger societal ills? What is it about our culture that leaves so many feeling like they're inadequate, trying any ill to find a cure?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Why is there a "double standard" applied to sex between a dog and a human? Why is it that to many who are at least mildly okay with bestiality, a WOMAN having sex with a male dog is fine, but a guy with a female dog is not?

The sadness was still there.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

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I had run out of hope.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Why did my bipolar girlfriend split up with me?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

It’s still here.

Why did Kamala say immigrants eating cats isn’t real when there’s police bodycam footage of it happening?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Psilocybin induces large-scale brain network reorganization, offering insights into the psychedelic state - PsyPost

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are like me, then.